HALP, algoreacle! only you cans save us! Teh internetz you invented is warming!
I touched the box... and it was warm! Waht to do? (stfu perves!)
Within mere months, the "1337" (LEET) computers we all bought from retailers will be so overheated they will slow down causing mass panic! We MUST stop the Internet Warming at once or we are all DOOMED! Please, leftards, do your part and purchase data emission offsets from me! I will ensure the money goes to a good cause, heck call it a revolutionary cause, because that cause will be to bring about a revolutionary advancement in my own personal computing capabilities by helping me wage an EPIC battle against your destructive data emissions! Invest in the future of this nation??? NO! Invest in the future of the world! The Goreacle brought us teh internetz and it is our responsibility to make sure it remains habitable.
Think of all the netizens you will be helping with your bleeding heartz!!!1111!1!!!!1! Together we can make sure the internet remains free and clean of your filthy data emissions! Take the pledge to stop polluting the internet, today!
Don't post, and if you do, use only ONE character per post. Do your part to show conservatives you can make a difference!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!1 While the're making posts lasting paragraphs, filled with all sorts of data, you can upstage them with a character, start with scaling it down to 3, or even 2 characters and find your comfort zone. There are many options to choose from on your keyboard, and you'll soon find that can still make as much sense as you normally do... You won't even notice the difference, but you'll be making the world a much better place!
Quick, someone nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize! I just solved much of the world's problems!